Monday, June 13, 2011

Manners Monday: Wedding Thank You Cards

Today's Manner's Monday post is an answer to a reader's question that I received last week. Susan J. from New Mexico asked me this question as it pertains to wedding thank you notes.

"I'm getting married in October and trying to research as much as I can. After our wedding day is over I don't really have any idea when I should begin sending out the thank you notes to our guests. I tried to google for the answer but I've seen a few different suggestions. I want to hear what you believe the right timing is. Thank you! Susan"

Thank you Susan for writing in with your question! I think people have heard a range of answers about this topic. Some say within 3 months, others say you have up to 6 months. How long your honeymoon will be and other factors such as if you are moving immediately after your wedding day will help determine the answer.

I always believe it's best to stay on top of it and get those thank you notes out sooner vs. later. It's easy to get caught up with day-to-day things like work, settling into a new home and forget or let it pile up on you. For someone who is taking a long honeymoon such as 2-3 weeks, 1 month is not reasonable, although it may work for a couple that spend one week away and want to tie up the loose ends of their wedding. The optimal time is anything within 3 months from your wedding date. Any time after that and guests will be thinking you've forgotten them or that you may not have received their gift at all! It's better to exceed your guests expectations by sending the notes as soon as you can.

Another factor is wedding photography. Brides used to wait months to get their photos back from their Photographer, but in this day of digital you should have your photos in a few weeks, having the necessary amount printed to be enclosed with your thank you note if you so desire. It took 3 months for my hubby and I to receive the photos from my Canadian photographer as she shot our photos manually and put together 2 albums for us. I knew waiting for them was not an option and I didn't 'love' any of the photos friends took enought to use them inside our cards. I didn't want to break etiquette and keep my guests wondering so I mailed ours out at the two month mark as we were honeymooning for two weeks then moving me down to FL afterwards. Photos are always appreciated and a nice keepsake of your big day but are not a necessary component of the thank you note, it is about personal preference. The thank you notes however are absolutely essential!

Enjoy your special day Susan! If you write a few thank you notes each day, I think you'll find that it's less overwhelming and they'll be done before you know it!


  1. Hello Karla,

    Thank you for such a wonderful informative post. I didn't even know that this kind of letters should be addressed to guests, in my country it is not a common practice:)

  2. Great advice, Karla! I'm with you that sooner is better for everyone. It's no fun as the bride having them hanging over your head, and as a guest, I always start to worry the gift got lost if I don't hear anything (even a verbal acknowledgement. My husband and I had a three-week honeymoon with several flights, so I brought my thank you cards and gift list with us to do together on the plane.

    I also think it's important that the new husband helps out with this task! The task of thank you notes often falls to the wife, but in a situation like there where one could have hundreds to write, it's certainly helpful for the husband to contribute. I wrote more than my husband did, but there were many he chose to write to some of his closest friends and relatives. I was very grateful for his assistance and recognition that he was responsible for saying thank you, too.

  3. Dear Karla,

    I adore your blog. It is my ultimate guide to the world of fabulousness:))

    I awarded your blog, you're welcome to receive your virtual award in my blog!

    Lots of kisses


  4. this is such an important thing to do! we waited until after the wedding and honeymoon to open wedding gifts - a bottle or three of wine over a few nights and it was perfect. we cranked them out in 1 month because it was important to me that people knew their gift arrived and how we will use it/how much we appreciate their kindness. with that said, a few per night and trying to get them out before the 1 year mark is always good. we recently sent a few gift cards {blah!} to some couples because their registries were all filled. i despise sending gift cards but there was literally nothing under $150 on the registries one month out. Anyhow ... took 3 months for one couple to send a thank you and we are going on 6 for the other. i normally don't care about the thank you but with a gift card, i always worry if it got lost in the mail.

  5. Smart advice to write just a few a day, it is overwhelming.


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