I can't tell you how many times, after my sweet daughter was tucked into bed, that I've sat down to write a blog post with a great topic in mind I've started typing a few sentences then hit the delete button a few more times and ended up not publishing anything at all. I even questioned if this post was worthwhile publishing given its lack of detail. Nothing has felt right for a while. I have been in an endless cycle (and still am) of feeling guilty as though I was letting you my readers down by not producing new content, feeling like I had temporarily quit something that brought me joy and had in some ways let myself down. Yet, at the same time with so much going on in my personal life due to a new set of circumstances, spending time on such things seemed frivolous at best when I was (and am still) dealing with a lot of new changes, challenges and immediate action items on my to do list pulling me in every direction as I attempt to navigate this new path I'm embarking upon. When I have had the time, I've opted for fashion-oriented posts (something I continue to receive a lot of requests for) but also because they are light in nature. Although my passion for the classy woman ways has been here all along, my mind and heart are preoccupied. Please know, there will continue to be a variety of content here on The Classy Woman (I already have some great post ideas lined up when I get closer to the other side of this storm I'm walking through), but it will take some time to get back into that groove. To all of my longtime readers: I appreciate you sticking around as my blog has often sat dormant for weeks on end! :) I wanted to write a bit of an update of sorts, just to let you know I'm still here, I have so many great plans for this space and so many wonderful messages still to share, but in life, as we know, timing is everything and sometimes that timing isn't for us to determine and we have to just go with the flow and take one day at a time. For now, my posts may continue to be sporadic but I'm committed to producing great content that you enjoy reading and hopefully inspires and encourages you, that's always my goal.
Thank you to those who have written sweet words of encouragement or offered prayers and to those of you who have reached out by checking in on me to see how I'm doing on Facebook, Instagram and via e-mail or messenger, without me really giving you much to go on other than I'm personally experiencing an uncharted territory, this new season of my life which resembles the Autumn season in many ways. Without divulging too much right now in the way of details, what I can tell you is that I am rebuilding my foundation which takes time but it's a great way to begin again on a more solid ground. Adapting to new changes (such as our move to a new state across the country) among many others take the front seat while everything else seems to take its rightful place on the back burner. It's been a little over 2 months now since we moved from Florida to California and we are adjusting well to life here. Lily and I love it here and the weather alone is reason enough to get up every morning with a smile on our faces! When we were visiting back in March during our spring break trip, I felt a special calling to this area in my soul that I just couldn't quite shake or put into words. I remember crossing the California state line into Nevada on our way to catch our flight home and I wondered when I'd be back. Of the many times I had visited, California has always felt like home but this particular time it's like my heart knew what was coming even when I couldn't have predicted the future or how my future life would unfold.
Change requires the use of new muscles that haven't yet developed their memory. I liken it to going to the gym for the very first time. It's easy to go full force with enthusiasm (sometimes overdoing it by doing too much too soon), trying to figure everything out, you become tired, feel burned out at times and may even wonder if you've taken on too big of a challenge (even if you don't have much of a choice and are in fact thrown into the lions' den)....but then you stop and think about the rewards that will await you in your future, the goals you've set for yourself to make life better, what will bring the most happiness and peace to you and how the current way you've been doing life just isn't fitting into that dream and it's motivation enough to keep at it. For me, my precious daughter is that motivation. Everything I do, it is with her best interest in mind.
What I know for sure is this: change is difficult but it is good for the soul! What I've also learned is that the very things we fear in life will rear their ugly head if we don't address them. Likewise, the things we cling to are often stripped away so we can see just how capable we are without them and the true level of importance in our life. Lastly, when we embrace new challenges we can see firsthand that we are stronger than we believe we are through circumstances that we couldn't have predicted (and may have even secretly dreaded the thought of as I did in my own situation). So many 'what if's' have swirled through my mind during these past few months, I have often thought back to years gone by and wondered what I could or should have done differently. The truth is, while I could have taken a different path or course corrected in some way earlier on, this is where I believe God wants and needs me to be right now. When we find ourselves out of our comfort zone, we have no choice but to lean on Him in a greater way. I've been doing just that. Sometimes we need to protect ourselves from the world for a season, focus, plan and work towards the future without distraction (or less of it anyway). That's where I find unplugging from social media or scaling back on it particularly helpful.
Sometimes after being bombarded and feeling as if so much is coming at you and as if you've been on a roller coaster ride that you just can't get off of, it's nice to get a much needed respite to just be on the offense planning for the future instead of on the defense blocking punches so to speak.
So, there you have it- a pretty vague post. ;) I'm sharing and yet not saying much of anything all at the same time. It was important to me to share, however little I could right now as I felt this post was long overdue. Part of it has to do with information that I legally cannot disclose at this time. As someone who values transparency, I feel stifled in a sense writing in this manner and yet at the same time, I feel as though anyone who has gone through a difficult life challenge or season such as the loss of a loved one, enduring a devastating illness (or caring for someone who has), the loss of a home, a move across the country (or globe), a divorce, the loss of a business or job or even the parting of a longtime friendship will resonate with my words in some way, or understand where I'm coming from.
Above all, when life has handed me my toughest moments where I've felt anxious, let down, angry or disappointed, I turn to both prayer and scripture, a reminder of God's promises to me and to all of us. My favorites are Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose". One particular message that I shared recently and have personally felt over and over again in my spirit is: "The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still" ~Exodus 14:14 which is the perfect message if you feel as though you have to fight for yourself or are under some kind of attack or opposition. Finally, "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you" ~Isaiah 43:2 I know the Lord's purpose prevails regardless of any plans I make for myself, and I kind of like that idea actually. No matter what lies ahead, I know He's got my back and His plans always turn out so much better than mine anyway. In big and small ways I have seen His faithfulness during this time. I've seen prayers answered, I've witnessed his divine favor and while I have many questions and unknowns, I'm relinquishing control and trusting Him with all the details because at the end of the day, He is God and I'm not.
I love you all, as always thank you for reading!