Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I'm going to open myself up here and share what's been on my heart for a while. Even though I consider myself to be a confident person, from time to time I feel anything but. One thing I've really struggled with over the past few years as it pertains to finishing my book (which some of you have been asking me about), is that I want to inspire and even be a role model to others, especially young women, and yet I'm not perfect in all the things I share on this blog or write about in my book. I know, I know-who is? I was raised by two loving, awesome parents but our home was filled with perfectionist expectations at times that has no doubt rubbed off on me and that I've carried for years into adulthood.
Sometimes I really mess up and it shakes me, it makes me question whether I'm qualified to even write this book or this blog! I suppose the positive is that I'm self aware enough to realize the moment I say or do something that I'm not pleased with, that there is always another chance to make better choices the next time. The quote above was a much needed reminder and confirmation for me that we can still inspire others even though we ourselves are not perfect. Even though I know that none of us are perfect nor called to be, just perfected over time, I have created unnecessary pressure and fears causing me to put my beloved work on the back burner quite often.
Now, sometimes pressure is a good thing as it comes as the result of evaluating where we are at and where we'd like to be in various areas of our life. It can help propel us forward and challenges us to be better, but other times when too much is present, it can be crippling. I've really wanted this book to be a blessing to other women who desire to be elegant, ladylike, graceful and classy. Sometimes even when everyone around us believes in us and sees our abilities and gifts, we still lose sight and do not see what they see in us or the very gifts God has given us to share with others.
The other day I had the pleasure of receiving a message on Facebook from a lovely reader whom I've never met before, only conversed with via the blog and on Facebook, she's been following along for a few years. I was so touched and blessed by her words which I could only describe as a confirmation from heaven of one major thing I wish to accomplish this year which is finishing the book. The timing couldn't be more perfect as I had finally turned a corner weeks earlier building myself up, squashing my fears and just accepting myself as the flawed and imperfect woman I am-someone who can still inspire, impart wisdom and provide real ways to become one's best self as a classy woman regardless of her own faults at times, as none of us are without faults. I'm grateful for her encouragement and thoughtfulness in reaching out to me which I'm convinced was orchestrated through the Lord who has heard my prayers and wanted to lift me up!
Friends, I'm happy to tell you that I'm back on track and cannot wait to announce the release of my book in the coming months. I'm also going to do my best to post more often here on the blog also. This book has been a labor of love and a good portion of it is already written, however I have more to add and a lot of editing to do. While I had the cover designed a few years ago when I had originally planned to publish it, I'm sketching out some new ideas for that as well. I'm excited not only about the final product but the journey, it's teaching me a lot about myself along the way, things that I could never have imagined.
I write all of this to say that it's okay not to be perfect! If I've held myself back because of this fear, I know I'm not alone. There are others doing the same right now and I'd hate for anyone else to miss great opportunities, put their dreams on hold or withdraw from positively impacting another's life because they feel as though they aren't good enough as they are right now! I want to encourage you through my own example that it's okay to make mistakes, they are proof that we are trying.
Thank you for letting me share what has been on my heart with you. Sometimes it just helps to get the words out and off my mind. Perhaps it will explain why my blog posts have been a bit sporadic at times. Sharing all of this with you also keeps me accountable too, I take keeping my word seriously so now I have some work to do to make my dream a reality.
Have you felt this way in a particular area of your life? Has it prevented you from reaching your wildest dreams? Have you been in a similar place then overcame those feelings, I'd love to hear from you! All encouraging words are welcome. :)
Wishing you a wonderful start as you enjoy the first few days of this New Year!