Wednesday, September 26, 2012

10 Rules for a Happy Marriage




I'm changing the pace a bit here today, I know many of you are married so I thought I'd share some tips for a happy marriage. Before I got married six years ago, my Aunt hosted a bridal shower for me and one of the fun things that the guests did was take turns sharing some marriage advice out loud with me and then wrote it down and each slip was placed inside a painted wooden box with a latch that now sits on the shelf in our family room. From time to time if I'm feeling sentimental I'll pull it off the shelf and read each one.

So, in addition to the 10 Rules for a Happy Marriage poster shown above, here are a few pieces of advice that were given to me in my advice box that you might find helpful....

Always compromise if you don't agree

Cherish each and every moment you spend together

Always remember that God put you two together for the greater good

Never go to bed angry

Remember to make time for yourself and continue to do the things you enjoy most


As we women tie the knot and spend our marital years learning and navigating the blissful moments as well as the choppy waters, we create our own rules and sometimes begin giving advice to others. One of my favorite pieces of advice came in the form of a Facebook comment on a post I wrote several months ago about the importance of being reconciled vs. right. She said the rule in her house is, "It's about what's right, not who is right". They focus on being a team and keeping in mind what is best for them as a couple instead of pointing fingers at one another and fighting over who is right. While that has always been the goal in our home (we often refer to ourselves as Team Davis) it hasn't always been easy with two strong minded and independent individuals. However, since I read that comment and shared it with hubby, we now make a point of reminding ourselves that it's about what is right and that nips any arguments in the bud.



What is the best advice you've been given about marriage or what advice would you love to give those who are just about to wed or maybe those who are struggling to stay together?

XO

15 comments:

  1. Wow! I love your pieces of advice Karla. I've been married 16 years, and we stick to never starting a new day with an old argument; works every time as there's only so much arguing you can do in 24 hours ;-) Also I read somewhere that when you first get married, treat each other like a new road map. You must learn to "read" each other, learn where are all the hair-pin bends and hilly country are located and just steer clear of them xx

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    1. Thanks, Vanessa! :) I love your advice-it makes so much sense and honestly I think a lot of people get themselves into trouble trying to bring up old issues. It's important to live in the present instead of the past. I agree, having never lived together not dated that long before my hubby and I got married, you need to learn to read one another for sure, after 6 years I think we have for the most part. ;)

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  2. Karla, even though right now I am a widow, I know when I meet another super guy; these tips will be invaluable!

    xoxo
    Karena
    2012 Artists Series

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    1. I'm glad to hear it, Karena! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Your smiling face in your profile pic here always puts a smile on my face. :)

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  3. I'm not married but I read a quote somewhere from an older couple that said they don't believe in divorce because when something is broken, you fix it. So simple and reasonable and I loved that!

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    1. I believe that's true, people give up to easily these days. Obviously there are exceptions but on a while, I think most have the ability to be happy and thrive if they are willing to work on it. :)

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  4. I've broken a few of those rules, but I find the key to a happy marriage is to simply remember what made you fall in love and cherish those qualities.

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    1. So true, Karen! :) It's easy to forget those things but it's so important to take ourselves back to that time before getting married and keeping that flame alive.

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  5. I have heard lots of super advice over the years and they all seem to be mentioned up above but I think that the most important bit I have taken to heart was something my mother said to me before I married. She told me that no matter how heated an argument might be, always choose your words 'wisely', words can sting the heart like nothing else. As a bit of a fiery gal, I know how easy it is to let your emotions get away from you and unfortunately some things that are said can never be taken back or forgotten.
    Love this post, hope you don't mind if I tweet!

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    1. YES! This is so important! I would be lying if I said that I've never spoken a word that I later regretted to my husband in the heat of an argument, my husband has also. It's easy to get caught up in a crazy moment but that is precisely the time to take a deep breath and remember that once the words are out, they can not be taken back. I'd be honored if you'd tweet it-please, go right on ahead! :)

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  6. aw this is so cute. I will def. keep these tips for my upcoming marriage!

    http://coffeebeansandbobbypins.blogspot.com//

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  7. #9 is really important, but you also have to remember that it’s not just about saying sorry. You have to prove it. Through your actions, you must prove to your partner that you’re really sorry for what you did and assure her that you will not do it again. It’s essential, especially when you did something that extremely affects her trust in you.

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  8. I definitely agree with #2! Communication is the key to a happy marriage. :) Yes, I admit, misunderstandings are natural in all relationships, but if you both have established a good communication, you can certainly get through it.

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  9. I agree with you, Tyler. A well-established communication is the best tool to sustain a long-lasting relationship. When you can still hear each other’s hearts after the screams and throwing hurtful lines, you still have a chance to save your relationship from falling apart. :]


    - Ismael Kennedy

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Thanks for stopping by, your comments make my day! I read every single one and will answer any questions you have. I hope you'll visit again soon! :) I look forward to reading your positive, inspiring and interesting thoughts! *Please note I remove all spam which includes shameless self-promoted posts with blog/website links. This comment space is for quality dialogue, not advertising.

Warmly,
Karla

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