Wednesday, August 29, 2012

You Can't Please Everyone





Today's post is a shorter one and a gentle reminder to us all. Posting on Facebook then taking my message here and expanding upon it further has started to become a regular ritual. After seeing that today's post had 25 likes after just one hour I learned that many of you, my readers, agreed and felt strongly about these words so I wanted to share them here too!

I love this image and text above by Dita Von Teese. Think of the many times you've fallen in love with a particular book, movie, food or item of clothing and a friend really could care less for it. It wouldn't matter how much you tried to convince her of how awesome it is-she's just not having asparagus, skinny jeans or watching Glee. ;)

As women, it's as almost as if there is something inborn in us to become people pleasers. We want others to be happy, well fed, taken care of, nurtured, feel at home in our house and we long for friendships and to be liked. Sometimes we just want others to like what we like. These are all very good things but sometimes they just don't work out as we hope. I've always been able to make friends fairly easily as a child and adult even though I tend to be on the shy side at first. Sometimes you just get a feeling as though someone doesn't care for you or what you're all about. It could be a lack of common interests, different beliefs or even jealousy-whatever the reasoning, for many years I would try to over-analyze why they might not like me. While I wouldn't try hard to please the person in question, I would really want to know what it was. The thoughts were exhausting because I knew I wasn't about to change who I was to make someone like me. I finally decided that I just didn't care because there are enough amazing people on this planet that I will have things in common with and will have a great time with and will like me exactly as I am. The trick is in 'Staying True to Yourself'.




We must accept the fact that no matter how hard we try in life, we will never please EVERYONE 100% of the time nor will we be liked by every person. The sooner we realize this, the easier it will be to focus on just being our best self without feeling insecure or requiring the need to be accepted or perfect in another's eyes. 

For me, one thing I've learned is that people will have their opinions and reasons about why they do or don't like or accept you, and sometimes that won't ever change. Really, their opinion isn't all that important anyway. In my heart I know my creator and I know what He thinks of me. He created me in His own image and made me with all of my quirks and intricacies as well as likeable bits just as I am and loves me unconditionally. If you struggle with how other's perceive you, you'll benefit from this post I wrote called, 'Letting Go of How Others Perceive You'.

Remember, when you feel others are against you or you feel you just can't seem to live up to other's expectations, there is only ONE who will accept you just as you are-no pretenses and no judgments- just love, peace, grace and mercy offered because you are one of His children.

I hope you're all having a fabulous week so far! I'd love to know, what areas do you struggle with as it pertains to being liked or pleasing others?

XO




*Photo credit

13 comments :

  1. I think this is probably my most profound character flaw. I care too much what other people think about me. I know in my head that there is nothing I can do to change them, but my heart always thinks it can.

    Thank you for sharing.

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    Replies
    1. Danette, it sounds like you have a big heart! That's not a flaw. ;)

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  2. Absolutely enjoyed reading this. :) Thank you for sharing all your wisdom.
    Hugs,
    Lara

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  3. oh wow, so inspiring. ive been working so hard on my confidence lately and trying to care less about pleasing people. it's hard because i was bullied all the way through school so i still assume people won't like me unless i'm a pushover! but i think i'm getting my confidence back little by little. amazing post!!

    http://supposeishouldblog.blogspot.ie/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad to hear that you are working on your confidence and getting it back little by little! Kids can be cruel, I think sometimes as much as we want to keep the remarks in the past, they follow us into adulthood. I'm glad you enjoyed the post! :)

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  4. Such a great post! I have always been a people pleaser and tended to be non-confrontational. As I am getting older I am getting better at it, but still tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. I have noticed that I seem to be a connecter. Connecting one person to another and then they become good friends. With me, not as much. =) That's okay. Sometimes it quality vs. quantity.
    xx

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Jesse! I used to be more of a people pleaser too, not wanting confrontation. In my mid twenties I started to become much better at not trying to please others and just do what is right for me. Yes, quality over quantity in terms of friends every time! :)

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  5. I sooo needed this yesterday when I saw it on your Facebook page. I was one of the "likes." There are just some days when you can't please a soul and yesterday was one of those for me. I've pinned this for the future.
    Sam

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    Replies
    1. I'm so glad it was timely for you, Sam! :) It's great that you found a book on people pleasing and how to avoid it but sometimes are easier than others.

      I hope you're having a great weekend!

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  6. I forgot to mention that I've read a book about People Pleasing that helped me a lot. But it must be in my genes because I still have my days.

    Thanks again for this post Karla. I'm keeping every word.
    Sam

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  7. First off, congrats on the design of this blog! So classy!
    Also Wow I didnt think there was so much depth to Ms Dita Von Teese. Not to be mean but that's just too profound someone like Condaleeza Rice would have come up with that. Dont mean to be stereotypical or anything Ms Von Teese Im just surprised that behind such beauty is also a very intelligent thinking. How lucky !
    xoxo
    Ty Azarov
    Follow my closet at:
    www.BestTrendsForever.com
    (Closet Name: Ty Az)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the compliments on my blog design. :) Sometimes so people (celebrities in particular) will really surprise me. I love watching biographies and interviews for that reason. Recently a couple celebrities that I'm not a huge fan of were interviewed and I found new respect for them.

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Thanks for stopping by, your comments make my day! I read every single one and will answer any questions you have. I hope you'll visit again soon! :)

Warmly,
Karla

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