Friday, August 17, 2012

Eliminating the Weeds in Your Life




I don't know about you but over the years I've had to let a few relationships die along the way to get to where I am today. While it wasn't easy in the moment, it was so necessary. If certain friends or family members aren't willing to love, support, encourage and uplift you or are just really negative and toxic, it's time to stop watering those relationships and spend time pouring into those who feed you. Sometimes it's a person that is extremely needy and just sucks the life out of you with their constant problems and often drama they bring upon themselves. Life is too short to be held back by those who aren't happy in their own life and take it out on others, looking for company in their misery.

Some will argue "but she's my sister" or "I've known her since kindergarten" and feel a sense of obligation.  While these things might be true, if you're not being treated right by the person in question of you don't feel happy, at ease or yourself around this person any longer, it might be time to have a talk. Many times in friendships and other relationships simply making a point of discussing something that is bothering you will remedy the problem. Other times, they might be too prideful to admit their wrongdoing to repair a relationship so it can continue. When you've been patient then taken it upon yourself to tell the other person how they are making you feel and there is no response, it may be time to move on. It doesn't mean you cannot ever be friends in the future, it just means that perhaps you both need a break. Maybe the other person will realize that they miss your friendship enough to work on themselves to repair what was once a beautiful and treasured relationship. Other times it may in fact be the best to move on and not look back.

It's definitely not always easy, but when you do this you'll feel a lightness as if a huge burden has been lifted off your shoulders. If you feel that and don't really feel a sense of the friendship missed, it's pretty clear that they weren't meant to be in your life any longer. It's liberating to live authentically, know what you stand for, what's important to you and to act accordingly, that you will not continue to put yourself in a negative environment that feels more like work than enjoyment.

As we prepare to enter a new season in just a few weeks, now might be a good time to look at your life and determine what's working, what and who bring you joy as well as those that do not and move in a direction that allows you to get the most out of your life so you won't become entangled by any weeds that exist. You deserve to be HAPPY! :)

Is there anyone right now that is a 'weed' in your life instead of a flower. Are there any flowers that aren't getting enough of your time because it's being spent watering the weeds?

Happy Weekend!


XO




*image credit

16 comments:

  1. Agree it is hard I have had to pull away from family I still keep in touch at a distance!!

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    1. I hear you, Jennifer-I have had to do that also with family. It's a shame but sometimes it has to be done.

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  2. Your excellent post bespeaks a wisdom that few discover in their lifetimes. Very well said in my book!

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  3. Such a hard lesson, but so true. It is so hard with family...finding that balance of setting up boundaries, yet still keeping peace. I've certainly had my fair share of toxic friends.

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    1. Yes, I agree Sarah, setting up those boundaries is crucial!

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  4. Karla I really needed to hear this right now!! All so true!

    xoxo
    Karena
    Art by Karena
    2012 Artist Series featuring Harrison Howard

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    1. Thanks Karena, I'm glad it was timely for you! :)

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  5. great advice, hard to do sometimes because some people have nothing but toxic relationships, i think its important to remember to change your attitude and the way you treat people and good people will gravitate towards you xx

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    1. Thanks for your comment, Eimear! I totally agree with you, it all comes down to changing your attitude and the way you treat people. Changing behavior involves a change in the heart. :)

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  6. Love the analogy Karla. Yes, I've decided to weed out the people that leave me feeling deflated and bad when I'me with them -"toxic friends" ;-) I think it's something that becomes easier as we get older; as time starts to whizz past us it just becomes `pointless wasting time on weeds and not flowers (or even new buds ;-)

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    1. Vanessa, it's so true, these things have a way of becoming easier when we get older. I think another reason is that we just grow tired of putting up with certain behavior from others and decide enough is enough. Thanks for stopping by, I hope your move is going smoothly! :) XO

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  7. I can definitely identify with what you're saying here. I've had a few relationships in my life that I've just completely had to let go of - it was hard, but it's definitely a rewarding feeling getting negativity out of your life!

    katiesbliss.com

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  8. I can relate, I've learned to forgive and love people from afar. Some ppl are in our lives for seasons and that's o.k.

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  9. Well said and so true. I've been doing lots of weeding in my life this past year or so. Trying now to rebuild with wisdom. =)

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  10. Thanks for posting this. I shared this on my blog and did so e weeding and it felt great but it obviously affected the people I weeded out because now they make "weed p" references about me to mutual friends on FB. Case in point as to why they were weeds in the first place :)

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Warmly,
Karla

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