Monday, June 7, 2010

Being the 'Right' Person



On our wedding day, somewhere between reciting our vows and Paul sharing a romantic poem that he had written especially for me, we incorporated some very relevant scripture and a few other quotes as they pertained to marriage. Just this past weeked, a little voice was reminding me of one of those quotes.

At times, like many wives, I've found some of my dear hubby's habits rather annoying. Although they aren't major, sometimes after multiple requests to do or not do something a certain way, I've felt as though nobody was listening. Any of you moms out there understand this like no other!  In many areas over the past 4 years after numerous attempts to change my hubby's frustrating habits, I've learned to just let go of the little things because in the end, they don't really matter.  I don't want to be 'right' in our marriage, I'd much rather be reconciled. Besides, I know that I have little habits that aren't hubby's favorite either. If something isn't the way I had hoped for, I do it myself. From loading the dishwasher to silly little comments I have to remember that he is his own person and my priority or urgency is not always going to be his priority or urgency.

Whether you are single and searching for the love of your life, are enjoying a wonderful relationship or happily (or not-so-happily) married, I think the quote below is as true for marriage as it is for any romantic relationship and is a great daily reminder.

"A successful marriage is not finding the right person, but it is being the right person." ~unknown

It's amazing to me how many single men and women always talk about finding the 'right' person. Often times it's the reason why a relationship failed, 'He just wasn't the right person'. How often do those same people look inward and asking if they were giving it their 'all' in being the right person.While finding a great match is important, if we all spent a little more time working on ourselves instead of trying to improve our partner, wouldn't the world be so much more loving?

How about you? Do you have to remind yourself not to sweat the small stuff? Do you have one thing that your partner or husband does that just drives you crazy? Share with us.

7 comments :

  1. Oh, gee, where to start....hmm...he has the mundane ability to never see ANY toys, shoes, etc.. lying around on the floor. It amazes me how he is able step over the article, but not pick it up. I guess lifting the foot only requires one hinge motion, as bending over and lifting would require more body movement! It really is easier to just do some things yourself. Unless, it comes to his singing, which I use to find charming and cute. Not so anymore. More like I need earplugs! When it comes down to it, all the "little" things are just that, little. They are not worth causing strife. Great topic!

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  2. This post reminded me of a moment early in my marriage. I got up for work one morning and stumbled over a pile of my husband's dirty clothes. I was annoyed until I remembered what a widowed relative wrote to us in the card she gave us for our wedding. She told us how lucky we were to be just starting our lives together and how much she enjoyed being married to her husband who had recently passed. I remember thinking she would give anything to have a pile of her husband's dirty clothes to pick up. I vowed then and there not to sweat the small stuff.

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  3. Thanks ladies for your comments! Yes, Karen that does certainly put things into perspective. When my hubby travels I'm also reminded-in life there are no guarantees so you need to make the most of every minute you have together. :)

    ~K

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  4. hi! super cute blog and awesome first post!! i found you through centsational girl's bistro table comments. i commented shortly after you :p lol

    i definitely agree with everything you said. im young but i have both loved deeply and have been hurt deeply. i think what hurt the relationship the most was all the finger-pointing... too busy picking at each other and trying to fix and mold one another into who we thought The One should be like.

    since the break up... my main priority has been working on myself so that i can be the best person possible for me!! i dont think relationships with others can be honest and loving unless you are honest and loving with yourself first!

    im currently still single but i trust that as long as i continue improving my own character... in due time i will meet someone i am ready for and he will be ready for me too :) i hope! lol

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  5. oh this was awesome! I always new that if I wanted to find the person I was looking for, I had to BE that kind of person.
    I love your blog! I'm following you now so I'll be back!

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  6. Karla, I can honestly say that when I got married 22 years ago I vowed I would never nag .And I have not. I also have never let little things bug me. V fell 2 years ago and broke his back and had a serious head injury so I am so very thankful he is alive, can walk and doesn't have brain damage. The dr's called him a miracle man. So I never let small things bother me before the accident and after I am so thankful he is here .
    Have a pretty day!

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  7. Thanks Kristin for sharing. That is so wonderful to hear that your hubby was a miracle survivor after that fall-that is an awful thing to happen to anyone. It really makes you count your blessings! I think it's great that you don't sweat the little things. :)

    ~K

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Thanks for stopping by, your comments make my day! I read every single one and will answer any questions you have. I hope you'll visit again soon! :)

Warmly,
Karla

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